Parenting can often feel like a power struggle, with the parent’s needs and wishes challenged by those of the child. It is a conflict of interest, in which both parties have important needs, which can sometimes seem contradictory. Parenting thus seems to be friction prone, whereby parents and children are often at odds with each other.
By contrast, when basing decisions and choices on shared values, there is a common basis on which to base agreement. This does not mean that all conflict is removed from parenting, but it does give parents an additional means of securing positive behaviour from the children.
What are values?
‘Values’ for the sake of this project refer to the moral principles that guide a person’s choices and actions. Rather than making a choice or acting based on personal preference, children can learn to make choices and act based upon moral considerations. Values relate quite directly to real-life choices such as fairness and cleanliness (rather than more abstract notions like love or happiness). This project is leveraging unique Judaic insight into how values can address practical everyday issues.
Value-based parenting aims to give parents a valuable tool in raising their children, by putting moral values at the heart of a family’s and child’s choice-making. Parents use mutually understood and continually reinforced social values to foster positive behaviours in children. Values-based parenting helps children to associate behaviours with values that are not limited to the personal authority of the parent, but rather are well understood and embraced by the entire family.
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Tag Institute is a Think Tank and Research Centre that promotes interdisciplinary research integrating insights from Jewish texts and practices with the methods and concepts of the social sciences to create interventions that promote the wellbeing of individuals, families, communities, and society.